"What is the purpose of my life?" must be one of THE questions of life. How does it make you feel when you say it out loud? Excited, curious, troublesome, or irrelevant? Allow your emotions to emerge, identify them and stay with them. What are they trying to tell you? According to modern psychology, living aligned with your sense of meaning, your purpose, brings motivation and well-being to your life and is the foundation for a balanced, happy, fulfilling everyday life.
Like values, we are born with our purpose. It is like a seed in our core that first grows into a sprout and, year by year, becomes larger and larger, finally becoming a blooming tree. It is something impossible to avoid. That's why we also sometimes start running faster and faster in life, to avoid the inevitable truth about ourselves or the direction our purpose is guiding us for.
Some of us tend to naturally follow their purpose, but most of us, like me, need to fight out of the social norms, which hinder us from seeing what really matters for us and who we actually are. We have the choice of living free or staying in our golden cage. Freedom representing an uncertain future with the possibility of success and failure, personal growth and learning, and the golden cage, staying in our comfort zone, stagnating, and living passively, feeling numb, cynical, and grey. How do you feel in your everyday life? Let it guide you. Either way, it will not be an easy path.
Indeed, it will come with its ups and downs. It takes courage to break out of the invisible cage we often are not aware of. What will others think? How will I manage my finances? Am I good enough? What will happen? Success and failure have a bound connection. After every win, there is a failure, and after every loss, there is a success. The key is to understand and become aware of life's cyclical nature and learn and grow with it. We are always going firmly forward, towards our purpose, whatever happens.
Life doesn't need to be stellar or extravagant to live aligned with your purpose. It is about experiencing meaning in small things in life, at work, with yourself, family, friends, or hobbies, even when taking a shower. It's about becoming present, seizing the moment, and cherishing it. Feeling the beauty, love, and compassion around you.
For long, I was seeking a single job that would fulfill my purpose. There were clues all the way, but I didn't pay too much attention to them; I was too busy building my life according to the external expectations, fears, and false beliefs I had. Burnout was a gift for me in a sense; it helped me start becoming aware of what took me in the wrong direction in life. I had aspired to a career that drained me instead of fulfillment; I worked in a culture that didn't support my values. I had two small children, and I wasn't taking care of myself. I hadn't worked with my beliefs and behaviors that took me in the wrong direction. I was not listening to the intuition that tried in so many ways to guide and finally stop me.
The combination of coaching and therapy raised my awareness of my golden cage and what it was doing to me. The new understanding helped me to make active decisions in life. I chose to live happy, balanced life instead of being exhausted, feeling numb and grey. I began to listen to my intuition and let it guide my actions and decisions in all the areas of life, relationships, career, and hobbies. I learned to trust my inner knowing, the guidance of my body, heart, and soul, the armourbearers of my purpose.
3 Steps To Tune In With Your Purpose
Before we start, I want to tell you that everything you need is within you. Your knowing might just be very silent compared to the other voices in your mind. Your thoughts are like a loud family trying to advise you in hundreds of different directions based on your beliefs, fears, expectations, and the norms in your culture. They don't easily allow you to listen to yourself at all. How then to find your way through that dense jungle of your thinking? I will guide you through a practice you may use to tune in with yourself.
1. Become Present In The Moment
Close your eyes, have a relaxed posture, and inhale and exhale deeply. With inhale sense how the air fills in your nostrils and lungs, traveling all the way to the bottom of your stomach, expanding. With exhale, feel how the air goes all the way up, out from your nostrils, and squeezing your stomach towards the spine. Repeat for 5-10 times and sense how your body feels from top to toes, how your heart, soul, and mind feel. Listen to all these dimensions. What do you become aware of?
2. Visualise The World And Your Life As You Want It To Be
Imagine yourself looking at the world, or just the city or the area you live in, from the outside. Holding it with your hands like a crystal ball, you can see and feel what's happening inside.
What would you like your impact to be in what you see and feel?
How would you like the world to be?
Notice the sensations, visuals, or words coming to you. What are they telling or guiding you for? Stay here for a while, and when you are ready to go forward, open your eyes, make notes, and continue with the following questions.
If there were no restrictions whatsoever, what would you do in your life?
Where would you live and with whom?
How would you like to feel in your everyday life? What are the dreams you would fulfill?
Make notes.
3. Make It REAL
Go through your notes. What do you become aware of? What brings meaning for you in life? Can you even come up with your purpose? Notice how you already are on your path.
What do you want to do or change in your everyday life?
What are the first small steps?
What will help you succeed?
Who will support you?
What are the barriers (if any) on the way, and how can you go around or over them? And there you go, you have your next steps clear. Wishing you clear skies and tailwind on your path.
And there you go, you have your next steps clear. Wishing you clear skies and tailwind on your path.
Everything You Need Is Within You
With all the individuals and groups I have worked with, I have found that becoming present with ourselves through meditation, meditative practice, or simple embodiment (connecting the body and mind), are the most powerful tools to connect with our sense of meaning.
The purpose is part of us; it isn't something external to find. Even how hard you fight against your purpose, it doesn't go away. It is like a tattoo on your face.
Becoming present in the moment will help you to listen to your inner guidance. It is the key to truly tap into your essence and purpose.
Ask questions from yourself and listen to the signs and replies. Don't look or listen to what others do; instead, ground yourself.
Use the power of human connection. In connection with others, profoundly listening and sensing, we actually can see and feel ourselves more clearly.
Everything you do will take you there, don't push or force yourself forward. Sometimes we want so hard to "make it" have our purpose crystal clear that it actually gets in the way. You are already there. How does that thought change your perspective?
There is no single career in pursuit of your purpose; you can fulfill it in hundreds of ways.
Share your compassion, love, joy, and gratitude; they will take you forward—our purpose can't be less than to live happy, balanced, conscious everyday life.
Life Purpose is about finding meaning in everyday life, following your intuition and inner guidance, and following your path, whatever it is, even not knowing the final destination.
Living aligned with your purpose is about living aligned with your energy. Your comfort and discomfort in life show in your energy balance; tune in with yourself and let your body, mind, and soul guide you.
If you want to have a sounding board for your purpose work, I can help you. Drop me a line through social media or book a free get-to-know session through my website. This article was originally published at Brainz Magazine on 2021.